Quarantine: God's Punishment

My loyal readers will know that once in a while; when everything in life aligns to piss me off enough I will pen what is known as a flame post. If you are new here and not a fan of heat; I'd suggest you read no further.





Enter Quarantine.

Most people think its a movie; but I have compelling reasons to believe this is heaven's decreed punishment for me poking fun and laughing at jesley all the time. Two nights ago I was made to suffer unspeakable torment in silence.

The "movie" marries everything I hate in a bad movie which includes:

- Lots of Screaming
- Bad Plot
- Mass Panicking & Hysteria
- Shaky Camera movement
- Brainless characters
- Plagiarised plot
- Illogical storyline
- Repetitive and predictable scenes
- Terrible ending that makes you go WTF?

I strongly felt that a stronger force above the skies had planned for me to comprehend the true meaning of "Quarantine" by making me sit there for over 90 minutes watching this pos they call a movie.

The director seems to have adopted the Apple theory of life; "If I dont like it; then it didn't happen" to his movie, ignoring Cloverfield's failure. He tries to go with the First Person View thing and having camera shake so much that you probably will vomit less by drinking a few bottles of vodka.

If that isn't bad enough the characters start panicking like shit even at the smallest things and scream non-stop. If I had a stopwatch the movie would probably clock in about 30 minutes of full screaming non-stop thats irritating and makes you want to drag them out and punch them over and over again.

The director decides that like all typical zombie flicks; people are stupid and must die a horrible and retarded death. I've heard that zombies bite people; but wikipedia never mentioned they manage to timothy you.

Quarantine breaks all classifications of known movies to create a new category all by itself; named "Toture". The film is able to make you so frustrated that you really want to find the actor of the cameraman and beat his mum. The epicness comes when you realise 8.50 has flown out of your pocket and the rest of your friends are also watching it. This is when the real meaning of "Quarantine" comes.

Agony ensues and if you are able to finish the film, kudos to you. You are either a very patient person or totally retarded. If I do ever see the actor of the cameraman; I really WILL give him a smack or two to rid his world of a demon.