Vox Pops Chinaman

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Just so you are clear, I am not racist. I just hate chinamen.

Today saw me in orchard walking around like crazy fool asking people what they thought of durian and alcohol.

Its ok to reject the interview, however, it is not ok to behave like a chinaman. This is what happens.


Me: "Hi, I'm doing my radio project, can I ask your views on ONE question?"
CM: "你说什么?这个是干什么的?" *points at my mic*

I realise comprehending my English might be rocket science for him. So I attempted to downgrade my IQ drastically, by like 500 points.

Me: "Er.. 我想访问你下关于个问题,那就是同时食用留连和酒有什么样的效果?"

Note here that this is probably the most complicated Chinese sentence I've constructed in my whole life. 17 years of my Chinese education was nurtured to perfect this question.

CM: "这个。。。现在是该讨论新加坡经济和发展的时间吧?到处人都没口饭吃而你还在这问留连和酒的关系?"

CM: "是应该讨论下如何扩大新加坡的人才和如何去喜迎外国人名来这发展经济。而不是讨论什么留连..."

At this point of time, I will admit I already was already clearly disengaged in the conversation, just merely nodding my head to make him feel comfortable. One should understand when an interviewer does that, its asking you to stfu and get lost.

However, does the china man know that?

No. He goes on this time adding more words I've never heard before in my life. He throws in a few badly enunciated words that sound like " WER PAMIT"and "BISA". He's like a Gatling gun, the more he talks the faster the rate of words spill out even though I clearly couldnt understand shit, but he was just rapping away trying like there was a word limit . I wanted to use my mic, hit him between the eyes and run off.

If you brought him to Sentosa, the merlion would be out of business. Saliva was just pouring out of his mouth as such a quick pace he would probably fill up a Olympic sized pool in seconds. The next thing you know hes criticizing the govt about work policies and unfair ethics. I did the best I could.... wait for him to stop for air then quicky say

" OK THANKS FOR YOUR TIME BYE! "

Wasted 2 minutes of my tape. Stewpid china men.



Thats like not the best. The china man continues to amaze me further....


As my group was interviewing others, we noticed the china man lurking around, approaching foreign expats. My first thesis was that he was trying to promote chairman mao, almost called the ISD to come tazer him. Fortunately most of the angmohs count give a damn about some guy who spoke like a duck and just shrugged him off.

My suspicions heightened when some angmohs stopped to talk to him. Clearly this is wrong. Someone who cannot pronounce your credit card company correctly obviously cannot speak to angmohs. And if he could.... why did he not do my interview? What did I do?

I stalked him.


Finally, I got so so so curious then I went to ask one of the angmohs whom he talked to. GUESS WHAT?

HE WAS ASKING THEM FOR MONEY. AND HE SPOKE IN ENGLISH.

I laughed so hard at him I swear he was staring back at me. To commemorate our successful CSI, my friend took a picture of him trying to suss money from some angmoh. Will post it later. Someone notify STOMP, " China beggar in orchard road? ".



Not i want say.. look at the way he stands....

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